Just when you think you have everything down pat with how to handle conflict with your first child, child number two comes along.
Anyone hear me?
Can I get an amen?
The things that I thought I had mastered with AJ, just did not work with Ry. They are 2 totally different kids. Night and day. The things that worked with AJ just did not work with Riley!
I am not talking about the foundational discipline we used, I am pretty clear on that and I was not going to waver. I mean something as simple as different wording sometimes!
Here’s a good reminder to all of us as moms. Whatever your kids just did?
It’s not the end of the world. Really and truly. I think it is so important to be consistent and I have talked about the spanking challenge article that I wrote and I know it has been a huge help to many moms. So yes, consistency is very important. But here’s the thing. There are going to be times when you as a mom need to know your limits. You need to be able to recognize signals in your body that are telling you *I am about to lose it* and you need to know that it is time to walk away. You need to walk away before you say something that you are going to regret.
It’s all about self control, right? Isn’t that what we are trying to train our kids to develop themselves?
How are we ever going to be able to help our kids be self controlled if we can’t even be self controlled ourselves? There is nothing wrong with walking away to get your thoughts together. And if you needed permission to do that? Consider this your permission. It’s ok to walk away!
Here is my challenge for you today. If you are finding yourself having a conversation that is going nowhere fast (you may be getting emotional, or they may be getting emotional) tell them that you need to walk away for a few minutes to get your thoughts together.
Now don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that you, in frustration, say – I need to get away from you right now, you are driving me crazy! No, no, no. That is not it at all.
And I am also not saying to just walk away from whatever is going on, and then never deal with whatever the issue is. That is just being lazy.
What I am saying, is that you need to be intentional, and purposeful about how you are training your kids. And remember that that is what it is: Training.
You are lovingly and patiently telling your child:
I need to have some time to think about how we are going to resolve this. Why don’t we take a little break here and figure that out, ok?
Do you see the difference? You are controlled. You are recognizing and conveying to your child that sometimes you need more time and some heavy duty wisdom from God to know how to figure this situation out. You have not said anything you are going to regret. You are not implying that your child is annoying or irritating. You are just demonstrating self control.
Let’s do a better job at that, ok moms? Let’s realize that sometimes it’s ok to walk away.
Let’s be the self controlled moms that we want our kids to grow up to be!