Dear pastor’s wife,
I just wanted to take a minute to speak to you.
I know you feel overwhelmed, and I know you are exhausted.
I want you to know, first of all, that you are not alone.
I want you to know that you are so valuable.
I know that the last 2 years have been difficult for everyone, but so difficult for you as you have had to confidently, lovingly support your husband as he was being judged by someone for just about any decision he made.
I know that there are times you feel like you have so much to say, but you have to just smile and trust that God is working and will heal and restore.
I know that you can feel like “just” the wife, but your role as help meet is incredibly valuable and so necessary for a strong ministry.
I also want you to know that you are seen.
I see you getting to church early every single Sunday…rain, snow or shine.
I see you picking up the trash that was left behind from the event over the weekend.
I see you rushing over to the new person to make them feel welcome.
I see you leading ministries that you don’t necessarily feel qualified for but no one else is doing.
I see you holding onto so many secrets and hurts and struggles and carrying them as your own.
I see you giving of yourself completely, but having a little hesitancy as you’re still feeling the hurt from the last person you may have allowed yourself to open up a little bit too much to.
I see you wanting to be viewed as just another one of the girls, but you can’t help but notice the voice changes and the body language that shows that people still view you as the “pastor’s wife”.
I see your bright smile that is so genuine, and I also see you holding back tears from the weight of it all.
I see the way you can feel like you are surrounded by so many people but feel so ridiculously alone.
I know that your job can often feel thankless.
I know that you see more than most people and you have to work so hard behind the scenes to keep yourself from becoming cynical, bitter or judgmental.
I know that you carry so much and are happy to do it…but you sometimes wonder when you can just get away from it.
From all of it.
I just want you to know that the battle for the church is brutally difficult in the year 2022.
Your role in it is bigger than you may realize.
But know this…you are called to this…and if God called you, he will empower you to do it!
Keep holding on!
He chose you to be exactly where you are.
He called you to this church and these people for this time.
Keep trusting in His promises and keep standing up for the truth.
Don’t ever waver on that, no matter how much pressure you feel and how much easier it seems to just go along with what the other people are saying when it doesn’t align with the Bible.
Find your satisfaction in Jesus alone and don’t be tempted to start feeling sorry for yourself.
Don’t let yourself hold on too tightly to the pain you are surrounded with.
Don’t get weighed down by the sin and the culture and the passivity.
Be loyal and trustworthy to your husband.
Put your family above your ministry.
Don’t be weary.
God sees you and he has equipped you to be just where you are for just who He wants you to serve.
Find your joy in Christ, and keep moving forward.
You are going to be ok. You really are.
And this Sunday morning when you are getting ready to start another day of ministry, be thankful.
Be thankful for the opportunity God has given you.
View it as a privilege, not a burden.
You are such a gift and you are so, so loved.
You are not alone.
A fellow pastor’s wife.