It’s a word that was thrown around a lot in the last several years in several women’s events that I attended.
I never really liked the word, because who likes to think about something raw?
It either reminds me of a raw piece of salmonella-filled chicken? Or like a scraped knee that is all bloody and gross.
Either way, I didn’t like what it brought to mind.
But there is something interesting about the word raw when it’s in reference to someone being open, honest and vulnerable.
I have never really had a problem being open and honest about my feelings.
That is not because I have not had my fair share of people using my openness to stab me in the back, or to trash me to my face.
You can read about some of that here.
I guess it’s because I just don’t see the point of acting like something is a certain way when it most definitely is not.
I think that too many of us base our opinions of others on the pretty squares they post in instagram, or the smiling face we see on Sundays.
I do not at all think that it’s hypocritical to post pretty squares or to smile on Sunday.
I do both.
But I am simply saying that it may not be an accurate representation of the everyday life of that person.
While I do like to be open and honest, I think there is just as much a problem with people portraying perfection as there is with people glamorizing and poking fun at the messes of life.
Does that make sense?
I don’t like when I see posts about how many times a mom screamed at her kids that day, or that a wife thinks her husband is lazy, or anything else that makes it look like someone’s life is miserable so it’s a good reason for you to expect less of yourself and be miserable too.
But there is something about honesty about yourself that draws me.
I want to know there are other people struggling, but I also want to know that they are making it through.
So right now, I am writing from the raw.
I feel kind of like I am in that place of emotionally weak, and even borderline spiritually weak…but totally and completely hopeful.
I could sing “It is Well with My Soul” with every ounce of my being on Sunday at church, but then took no time at all to burst into tears when I realized that AJ had played his last basketball game ever.
I got up this morning while it was still dark, and while the house was still totally quiet.
I sat down to read my Bible and chose Philippians because I thought, If anyone had it bad, it was Paul.
Sitting in a prison cell, writing to a church about joy..this guy was someone I needed to learn from.
So when I read chapter 3 verses 8-9, I stopped.
“Everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.”
Everything else is worthless when compared with KNOWING Christ Jesus.
The value of knowing him…and not just knowing who He is.
But knowing him.
And that is when it hit me in a way it never had before.
My number one goal has to be knowing who Jesus is.
I have to care less about serving, about working, about doing…
More about gaining knowledge.
And how do I gain knowledge?
By reading His word.
Ok, so is it anyone else but me that goes to this bad place right down a hill and off a cliff?
It starts out with like – What am I going to make for dinner tonight? Ugh. It’s 4:00 and the chicken is still in the freezer!! Why can’t I just get my act together and plan dinner and put it in the dang crockpot like all those responsible moms? I’ll probably just throw fries in the oven instead of peeling potatoes. That is probably why I’m so fat, because I just eat french fries..I guess I’ll go have some chocolate since I’ve already ruined everything in my life anyways.
Ok, maybe a little extreme, but you get my point. We can take a couple small things and make them into really big life problems without even trying.
The truth of the matter is, I should be so focused on reading God’s Word because it is literally the only thing in life that will never change.
That will always be truth.
That will always be the comfort I need. And that explains why the enemy may want to try and keep me from that one thing that will the the most important thing I need.
And the truth is, when I start feeling like – people have no idea what is going on in my life right now. That is true, but what is also true is that I have no idea what is really going on in their lives either.
It is just a reminder to show others the grace I would want for them to show me.
So if anyone else is with me today.
Feeling tired, worn out, confused, discouraged…raw.
Remember that the most important thing you can do is KNOW Christ.
Lean into Him.
Hold on to Him.
Don’t let your heart be troubled. He’s got it all under control.